Chances To Be Given
by sorivroh
Summary: Serena was forced to marry someone else...and this is how the story goes...
1. Default Chapter

Chances to be given  
Chapter 1  
  
Disclaimer: any characters in this story does not belong to me, they were only used for the purpose of telling a story. Enjoy! And sorry if the story is not very organized, the only excuse for that is 'cus I'm not the most organized person. Far from it!  
  
~~~  
  
Golden rays of sunlight playfully swam on the surface of the water making it sparkle with starlight talent.  
The wind flew like an eagle in the summer, strong yet controlled and calm.   
A woman in her late 20 sat on the bench, under a blossom tree overlooking the water. She took off her sunglasses, and the bluest eyes captured all the beauty she saw. The wind began to play with her hair, blowing the loose strands in her face. But she didn't notice, her hair was in a bun, and only a little amount of hair was free to play with the soaring wind. She sighed,  
"I'd almost forgotten how beautiful Tokyo was," she said to herself. She took a few more minutes to breathe in the beautiful scene before her, and then she stood up once more, seeing the sun about to set. She did not stay to watch instead she began walking towards home. Walking down the streets of Tokyo she caught a glimpse of the Arcade far ahead.  
"I've almost forgotten why I left too," she thought.  
"Haha, Raye, no way!! You did that!" An intake of breath remained in the woman's throat as she heard an ever so familiar voice, and an ever so familiar name.   
"Yah, I mean, it was stupid of me, but you know I'm going out with Chad now, I can't do that even if I wanted to." The voices came from behind her, and she slowed down, waiting for them to pass her. She put her sunglasses back on.  
"Wow, well then, why didn't you call me?! I would've gone for him!"  
"Haha, Lita, I'm sorry, I forgot."  
"*Sigh* Oh well, next time."  
"Haha, come on, we're going to be late. Amy and Mina's going to kill us!!"  
"Nah, they're used to it...I mean, Serena was..." Silence fell behind. Finally, the two women quickly sidestepped by and walked on. She didn't hear them anymore; the mention of her name seemed to have ruined the giddy mood they were in.  
"But I'm glad I didn't forget," she told herself.  
  
~~~  
  
The moment she walked in her parents home, breathing seemed harder for her to do.  
"Where have you been?!!" Her head snapped up to look upon a familiar form, Alec, her husband. He sounded angry, but he showed no sign of it. Her Mother sat across from him, a nervous look on her face. Her heart began to beat faster, and she understood why she suddenly felt like she was drowning.  
"Alec, what the hell are you doing here?!!" she asked the obvious question.  
"We need to talk." He merely said, staring at her intently as if she was a child who needed a lecture. His voice was harsh, cold and heavy.  
"What do you want to talk about? We have nothing we need to talk about." She told him, keeping a hold of the doorknob.  
"Serena, we have a lot to talk about...Listen to me, I've changed." Serena's eyes became teary, his voice had softened, and the lines on his face had been wiped away with a small hopeful smile.  
"How many times have I heard you say that, Alec?" Her hold on the door loosened and her husband advanced towards her. He tipped her chin up, forcing her to look in his eyes. He knew that would do it, she would weaken, she always has and he assumed she always will. He was right, the sight of his dark eyes mesmerized her to the bone.   
"I've changed, Serena, trust me." The only thing Serena could think of doing was asked for her Mother's help, she couldn't have done anything else even if she wanted to, even if her voice kept yelling to her mind to move.  
"Mom?" she managed to say, the word almost getting stuck in her throat.  
"Alec, I don't know why we ever made Serena marry you, but I swear you won't have her back." Alec turned to look at this old woman, trying to depend her daughter. She looked fierce, but he wasn't afraid of her. Serena saw her chance and away from his eyes, she was able to run away from him and up the stairs to her room.  
"Serena!! You're only making things worse!!" He followed her steps and banged loudly on the door. "I've changed, Serena, I swear it!! I've been seeing a psychiatrist since you've been gone. I've gotten a hold of things now, I won't do it again, I promise!! And look, I've gotten a job at a company here in Tokyo. I've got a new apartment, with new furniture and I know you would just love it there. Please, Serena...give me another chance?" He sounded so sincere to her, and part of her wished he was telling the truth this time, but part of her was still hurting, reminding her of his handy work.  
"How many chances do you need, Alec?! How many!!"   
"Just one more, Serena, just one more." She was taken back by his answer, he had never pleaded in his whole life. He had never sounded so honest, so real. And she knew that she was going to regret what she was about to do, she knew it. But...part of her, part of her loved his eyes, his eyes that reminded her so much of...She got off her bed and opened the door. He stood there, smiling in victory. She was his once again, his and no others, he knew it.  
"What in hell are you doing here?!!" Alec and Serena turned their attention to the door. Mr. Tsukino stood there, briefcase still in his hands, a deathly look on his face.  
"Daddy..." Serena breathe.  
"It seems I've won again, Mr. Tsukino, Serena's going to be living with me here in Tokyo, she's coming back to me," Alec gloated.   
Mr. Tsukino looked from Alec to Serena, back to Alec then to his daughter once again.  
"Serena..." His eyes narrowed and stared intently into hers, piercing her heart all the way from across the room.  
"I'm sorry, Daddy." Silence followed then until the sobbing sound of Mrs. Tsukino.  
"Then...pack your bags and get the hell out of our house!!" He yelled. He dropped his briefcase and headed to the kitchen. Mrs. Tsukino followed him, giving Serena a confused look.  
"I'm sorry too, Mom." she whispered.  
"Come on, get your bags and let's get out of here."  
  
~~  
  
He was right; she did love the look of their new apartment. It was beautiful and it even had a balcony overlooking the water.   
"I told you you'd love it. Come on, unpack your bags." She hesitated; she only saw one door, meaning there was only one room.  
She couldn't trust him again, she hated him touching her, and it was only his eyes that she loved.  
"Come on," he said, with a hint of agitation in his voice. He opened the door to their room, and Serena breathed.  
"I figured you might not like it at first if we slept in the same bed, so we'll be sleeping in different beds. This one by the window is yours; I know how much you love looking out. And this will be mine," he said. She looked at him in disbelief. Had he really changed? Did he really love her now? Did he finally see that what she wanted was important too? That her happiness was all she wanted?  
"Alec..." He looked at her and saw her disbelief. He chuckled.  
"I know, I know, it's probably something you never expected from me. It's pretty late, you better unpack tomorrow, you look tire, we better get some rest. I start work tomorrow at 9, wake me up before 8 ok?" Serena managed a nod, still in disbelief. Alec began to undress and Serena quickly turned away. She too began to get undressed, taking out her pajamas and changing. She still felt uncomfortable undressing with him in the same room. They were married after all...for a year now...so, why was she still treating him like a stranger she didn't know.  
"Because I still don't know him." the answer came to her.   
  
~~  
  
It was at dawn that she found herself awake, in a new room, a new home...if she could ever feel like it was her home. She got up and quietly began unpacking. There wasn't much, only what she had been able to take with her at her fast disappearance. She looked over her shoulder at the form lying on the bed beside hers. How did he ever manage to convince her again? How could she give him another chance after...but everyone deserved chances didn't they? Wasn't that what life had always thought her to do, give chances.  
She forced the tears to subside, this was tomorrow, and tomorrow was always fresh, with no regrets. Yesterday, that was where regret lay, and yesterday had gone. Hadn't it?  
  
~~  
  
Alec breathed in the air.   
"What are you cooking there, honey?" he asked, smiling, still feeling good about his victory.   
"Just some French-toast."  
"Well, smells good." He grabbed some and sat down in front of his coffee.  
"What time will you be home?" Serena asked just for the sake of a conversation.  
"Well, it depends really," he said, toast in his mouth. "Sometimes I get home early, but if there's lots of work to do, I might be home late." Was he telling the truth this time? She wondered. "What are you planning to do today, hon?" he asked taking a sip of his coffee.  
"I don't know yet, shopping, if that's all right."  
"Of course, here's some money." He took out his wallet and dropped a hundred on the table.   
"You don't have to..."  
"Nonsense, I mean, it's not like you have a job to get your money from."  
"I could, couldn't I?" The agitating feeling she always felt towards him came back. Why was he always pointing out what she didn't have, yet not what she had. She could picture him thinking. The last time she had brought up the subject of getting a job, he had refused.  
"Sure, why not."   
"Really?"  
"Why is that so hard to believe? Listen, I'm going to be late, kiss?" She turned off the stove and walked over to him. Her lips landed on his cheek.  
"Do I disgust you so much that you can't even manage a peck on the lips?!" Serena stepped back, afraid. Alec gave her a look of disbelief, then left, right after he handed her an extra copy of the apartment keys.  
"Take care..." Serena whispered to herself, not bothering to yell it out, she knew he would ignore it.  
She went back to the kitchen, took a plate and put some toast on it. Then she brought it outside, feeling free once again. The wind taunted her loose hair, but it didn't matter, it made her feel free. And she wished time would stop...but her wishes never came true, not once. She forced the tears back, singing a sweet tune in her head, trying to distract her heart from aching again.  
  
After a while, she took a shower and got dressed, grabbed the hundred and her pursed and walked out of their new apartment. Where would she go today?  
She knew Tokyo so well, and the only place she wanted to go was...to the Arcade. No one would be there, right? Who would?  
She knew the answer to it when she walked in, but she breathed when no one paid attention to her. She grabbed a seat by the back, where no one would turn back to look.   
"May I take your order, miss?" a girl of 16 came up to her.  
"I think I'll just have a chocolate shake." It wasn't her usual order, but she wasn't the same usual self either.  
"Is that all, miss?"  
"For now, I guess." With her sunglasses on, she placed her eyes on the group of girls, sitting at the booth at the far front.  
"Here's your milkshake, miss." Serena noticed that it wasn't the same girl anymore, but instead...Andrew?  
"Thank you," Andrew smiled at her, his usual friendly smile.  
"Now, what would a lady like you be doing in a place like this?"  
"Hmm...The Arcade was my favorite place to visit when I was a kid," she admitted, panicking. What if he recognized her? He would surely tell the others and they were the last people she would want to talk to right now.  
"Really? You don't look that old, and I've been working here a long time. I must've met you once then." He said, hoping to get her name out of her. Serena felt uncomfortable.  
"Really? How long have you been working here?" she asked instead, ignoring his question.  
"Oh, I'd say about 10 maybe 11 years."   
"Wow," Serena said, trying to act surprise. A gush of air came from the door, and Serena and Andrew turned their attention to the newcomer.  
"Hey, Andrew, how's business today?" Serena caught her breath. Why? Why did I have to come here? She paid for her shake and stood up, wishing she wasn't too late...unfortunately, her wishes were always ignored.  
"Hey, wait!" Andrew said to her. She stopped and turned around. "No tip?"   
"Hey, Darien! There you are, we were just talking about you." the group of girls approached him. His face showed amusement. Serena felt nothing but panic.  
"Were you?"   
"Uhhum...who's this?" Mina asked, seeing Serena.  
"Um, excuse me, I've got to go." She tried to cut through...but they stood so close together that she didn't know which way to go.  
"That voice..." Serena's eyes widened, and before she knew it, her sunglass was swiped from her face, and she heard everyone gasp.  
"Uh...Serena?" Serena gulped, then charged at them and quickly ran out.  
"Serena!!!" she heard them.  
  
What in the world was I thinking?! I knew they would be there, I knew it!! They're always there!! Why did I hope that they weren't?   
Don't those people have work?! *Sigh* Why do I keep running away? She turned the corner and headed back to the apartment.  
I would be safe there, yes, I will.  
  
~~~  
  
"Was that Serena?" Raye asked the others as they sat back down at the booth with Andrew and Darien joining them.  
"Yah, Raye, I think it was. But...why would she run from us?" Lita looked at each of her friends in turn. None of them seemed to want to admit the answer, but they knew why, at least as far she knew it. Her eyes fell on Darien. Was that hurt in his eyes? Was he still hurting over Serena?  
"Darien, are you okay?" she asked him. The tall man with dark hair and dark eyes did not answer. He seemed to have fallen into a sort of trance.  
"Darien? Yoo-hoo, buddy, DARIEN!!" Andrew came around and up to Darien's ears, screaming his name, hoping that would do the work.  
"Oh Dear God!!" Darien held his ears and shook his head. "What was that for?" Andrew nervously laughed.  
"Hehe...Ah, you fell into a trance...what's wrong?" he answered.  
"Was that...was it, HER?"  
" "HER" ? That's what you call Serena now?" Raye was mad.  
"Raye...I'm sorry...it's just...that couldn't be her...I mean...she...I thought...I mean...was that...it's not...I mean...why did she...oh, that couldn't be...?"  
"Oh Darien, shut up! You're not making any sense. I think that was her, which means she's either permanently living in Tokyo, or just here for a visit."  
"But why in the world would she run!!!" He slammed his fist on the table, making the others flinch with fear. But the same question was in their mind.  
"I don't know, but I'm certainly going to find out! Come on, whose with me? Her parents have to know where she is."   
"Mina...even if they did, we can't just go up to her place and barge in and interrogate them."  
"Who says anything about interrogation, we just go up to them and ask."  
"But...wouldn't that be like butting into someone's business?"  
"And since when did you care about that?"  
"Hey! Fine, I'm in." Mina grinned.  
"Me too,"  
"Yah,"  
"Sorry guys, I've got work," They all turned their eyes to Darien.  
"I can't," was all he said. Then he walked away, wanting some time to think.  
  
~~~  
  
"Who?" Mr. Tsukino looked at them as if he had no idea who they were talking about. The girls didn't know what to say, they were astonished, bewildered, in a questioning awe of his answer.  
"Serena, Mr. Tsukino, you know, you're daughter?"   
"I'm sorry, girls. I have no idea who you're talking about, maybe you should look them up in the phone book." Then, as if the conversation was officially over, he shut the door in front of them.  
"Whoa, now what was that about?" Raye asked, confused.  
"Beats me...maybe we should look her up in the phone book."  
"Lita, not funny. Why was her Dad acting like that?"  
"Yah...good question."  
"But...what could have happened here to get him that angry?" Amy asked, concern in her voice. They stood there for several seconds trying to come up with a good explanation when the front door suddenly opened and out came Mrs. Tsukino. She smiled at them, but they could sense that she wasn't in the best of mood.  
"Hello, girls."  
"Hai," they nodded their heads and asked the question they wanted badly answered.  
"Serena has been home for a month now," she told them, sitting on the porch step. They sat around her, intent on finding out what had just occurred.  
"A month? Why didn't she call any of us?" Raye played with her hair, feeling hurt that she hadn't seen any of her Meatball Head.  
"I don't know myself, every time I suggested that she phone you girls, she would go on as if I never mentioned it at all. I thought it was just because she was having a hard time."  
"What do you mean?"  
"She and Alec...well, I don't think I should be the one telling you, Serena should." Mrs. Tsukino looked tired. A small faint smile came to her lips as she tilted her head to glimpse at the stars.   
"But...we don't know where she is."   
"Nor do I." She closed her eyes as if all her might wished that she were dead.  
"But I thought..."  
"Yesterday, Alec came here to pick her up. At first I thought Serena would resist this time, I thought she would take control...but instead...you know how big a heart Serena has. No matter what anybody does, she gives them another chance. No matter how bad, or how much they hurt her, she gives them another chance, and another and another. But she never seems to give herself one of those chances.  
She had so many chances to give to others, but she never left any of them for her." The girls nodded in agreement. It was true, Serena had always been forgiving growing up, but she would constantly beat herself for making mistakes.  
"So what did Alec do?"  
"I'm sorry, girls, I can't tell you. I promised. But...it was something...a good enough reason for her to leave him completely!"  
Silence fell over the whole.   
"I'm sorry, I can't exactly say where Serena is right now. As you can see, my husband is very angry with her. She hasn't called me either.  
But...look around, I know she's nearby." Mrs. Tsukino got up, dusted herself off then looked once more at the stars. "When you find her, do tell her to open her eyes and think." Then she bid them good night and went back inside the house.   
"Where could she be? And what did she mean? "Open her eyes and think?""  
  
~~  
  
"Honey, I'm home!" Serena slowly opened her eyes. She looked at the VCR just under the TV and glimpsed at the time. It was 9 o'clock and Alec just got home? She struggled to stay awake and to keep her mind from making up stories of why he was only home now. She closed her eyes; she really didn't want to face him right now. She had been crying all day and she was sure that Alec would notice.  
"Hey, sleepy head, why don't you sleep in the room, it's much more comfortable." He sat down at the corner of the couch beside her legs.  
She smiled faintly at him and in return so did he.  
"How was work?" Serena asked, getting up in a sitting position.  
"Oh, it was all right. Busy as always. Sorry I came home so late, but some friends and me went out to dinner, it was Harry's birthday today so we thought we'd treat him to an "All you can eat" buffet." Why did that sound so familiar? Serena asked herself. But she believed him.   
"Come on, get on in bed. What did you do all day?"   
"I...I got some air early this morning, but I didn't feel too well in the afternoon so I, I just went back home and watched some TV." She ignored his eyes that were trying to catch hers.  
"Well, if you're not feeling any better, you should get some rest. And don't bother waking up early for me tomorrow if you still feel sick, ok?"  
Was he worried about her? Was that worry she sensed in his voice?  
"Thanks, Alec. Good night," feeling like she needed to thank him for worrying, she kissed him good night, a small peck on the lips.   
He was surprised, and glimpsing a look that quickly passed over his face as her lips touched his, Serena wondered if he had been telling the truth.  
"Good night," he said to her, switching off the lights.  
  
~~  
  
She awoke at the sound of the door opening. For a moment, she was dazed, and where she was she didn't know.  
"Go back to bed, sweet." Who...? She didn't bother to open her eyes...she knew well who it was. But for a moment, her mind had almost told her that finally, she was awake and sitting beside her would be...Darien. But reality struck her, she wasn't dreaming, this was her life. And Alec was kneeling on the floor, whispering her back to sleep. When had he ever done that? Never, and she felt like crying. He was finally going to change, for her. She hoped, with all her might, he was changed. She smiled and felt his lips on her forehead.   
"I love you, Serena." Were the last words he said to her as he came out of the bedroom, leaving for work. Serena took a deep breath. He loves me, she told herself. And finally, her heart told her the truth. For the year they have been together. For the times she saw him angry, happy, sad...somehow, she had fallen in love with him. Even if that love wasn't as deep as her love for another man, she still loved him. And perhaps, she would now be happy with her life, or maybe even just satisfied and content.  
  
  
  
End Chapter 1 


	2. Chapter 2- a job

  
Chapter 2  
Chances To Be Given  
  
A solemn reflection stared back at her in the mirror.   
"A new day, Serena, a new day."   
She untied her hair from its bun and slowly stroked it with the gold brush she held in her hand. She closed her eyes, imagining her Mother there behind her.   
"Serena Tsukino, I don't know what I'll do with you," her mother's voice came through. "One minute, you're asking for our help and the next…you run off again." Her Mother would be brushing her hair for her.  
"I'm sorry, Mom…I just…" with her eyes closed, she felt her mother's strong arms wrap around her small body. What she was about to say, she couldn't, it had gotten stuck in her throat. Her mother finished for her.  
"I know, Serena, you just had to give it another try. It shouldn't be one of your flaws, but it is." She bathe in her Mother's presence, hugging her back.  
"He's changed, Mama." She said as she opened her eyes. Dark blue empty eyes fell on the woman staring back at her. Her mother was not behind her, a disappointment she felt deeply. She sighed and continued brushing her hair, finally beginning to braid the long silky blonde mounds.  
A sudden burst of loud music came from the other side of the wall. She frowned, but instinctively enjoyed the lyrics. She could only imagine what the singer was singing, but either way, she didn't bother to state her complain. For all she knew, a gruesome couch potato lived there. She laughed at the thought.  
She finished braiding her hair and went out of the bedroom to the living room where she turned the TV on.  
Her favorite anime was on, "Sailor V!"  
"I can't believe this show is still on!" she exclaimed. Her eyes traveled to the coffee table where she found a newspaper.  
"Hmm, well, I suppose I could look up a job now." Listening with her ears, but searching with her eyes, Serena found an interesting add.  
  
FULL TIME SECRETARY NEEDED FOR DR. HEERO.   
APPLY WITHIN THE OFFICE, LOCATED AT  
________________(FILL IN AN ADDRESS..??)  
BUT PLEASE MAKE AN APPOINTMENT BY CALLING  
222-2222 (I JUST MADE THE # UP, IT'S ACTUALLY A  
PIZZA HOTLINE NUMBER)  
  
"Hmm…I could try it out." She looked around and searched for the phone. She found one just under the television. She picked up the receiver and hesitantly but confidently dialed the number on the ad.  
"Dr. Heero's office, his daughter speaking." A cheerful voice came from the other line.  
"Hi, I'm inquiring about the secretary job posted in the classified space in the newspaper this morning. I was wondering if that was taken or if not, if I could make an appointment?"  
"Well, you're lucky, Miss, the job is still available, and there's an opening today after lunch. Would that be possible for you?"  
"Um…sure, what do you need me to bring, like a resume or something?"  
"Oh, nothing really, my Father wouldn't mind about your credentials or anything, he just needs a secretary. Just between the two of us, I don't think he's liking how I work right now. He isn't in, but I'll be telling him about his new appointment." Serena laughed,  
"Well, I'm sure you're not doing such a bad job," she heard the girl laugh on the other line.  
"You have no idea! Yesterday I screwed up his schedule so by lunch time, he made me cancel everything!" Serena laughed again, a friendly laugh she shared with the girl at the office.  
"My name's Rena by the way, and you are?"  
"Serena, Serena Tsukino."  
"Well, hajimemashite, Serena Tsukino, would one o'clock be all right for you?"  
"Hajimemashite, hai, one would be great, thank you."  
"See you later then," Serena pictured the girl smiling before both of them hung up.  
"Well, I guess I'm in luck. Huh, who would've thought luck could find it's way back to me?"   
  
~~~  
  
Serena put on her best dress, a white summer dress with blossoms on them. She left her hair in a braid, put on a dash of make up, grabbed her purse, then went on the elevator, hoping the bus hadn't come yet.  
Unfortunately, by the time she had arrived at the bus stop, the bus had gone over the road hill, leaving her with a feeling of anxiety.  
"Oh, great! This isn't good! It's all ready 12:30 and the bus doesn't come again until 12:45! Good job, Serena!!" She lectured herself. She sighed, hoping maybe her luck had stayed and she would make it just in time.   
15 minutes seemed like eternity and when the bus finally came, Serena's anxiety had grown. She got on and sat down in the front.  
"Come on, faster, faster!" she whispered through gritted teeth.   
"Late?"   
"Huh?" a man in his late 40's sat beside her, watching her from behind his sunglasses.  
"Yah…a little,"  
"Me too, I'm Derek by the way," Serena bowed her head and so did the man.  
"Serena,"  
"Well, I'm sure neither of us will die if we're only a little late, right?"  
"I hope so." The man laughed, wrinkles appearing under his eyes.  
"Yes, yes, well," he said. Serena glanced at her watch. 12:40…12:55 and her street finally appeared in front of her.  
"Would you please pull the line for me? Next stop is mine,"  
"Oh, not at all, it's mine too."  
"Well, then, we'll get off together." And that they did. What was weird was they were both going the same direction. Serena frowned, feeling a little scared.  
"So, where are you going, Serena?" Derek asked her.  
"Well, I have a job interview with a Dr. Heero."  
"Ah, I see now."  
"What about you?"  
"Well, I'm going to be interviewing someone applying to be my new secretary." Serena's eyes widened.  
"Dr. Heero?"  
"Ms. Tsukino, well, I guess neither of us was late after all." Serena smiled in relief, then a small laugh escaped from her throat.  
"Iie, I guess not."  
  
"Dad! I thought you'd miss this one…whose this?" A tall girl of about 16 stood behind the desk, a cheerful smile pasted on her face, red hair surrounding her face and purple eyes staring warmly at Serena.  
"Konnichiwa, it's me, Serena,"  
"Serena!! Well, I was wondering where you were too. Well, welcome to the office, oh by the way Dad, Aunt Celia called, she said to call her back after the interview." Rena went on. Serena fell in love with her right away. It was pretty hard not to.  
"Well, come on in my office Serena. You want to go get some lunch Rena or have you all ready eaten."  
"Nope, I was hoping to get your permission to go out to lunch with a friend."  
"Well, go on ahead then." Rena jumped and grabbed her jacket, flung her arms around her Father, smiled at Serena, and was gone in a minute.  
"Wonderful girl, come on in." Serena couldn't believe how spacious his office was. A leather couch stood in front of his desk, a glass coffee table in between, and flowers everywhere.  
"How do you like my office?"  
"It's much better than my room, that's for sure," she answered. Dr. Heero laughed.  
"Sit down, so, you want to be my secretary?"  
"If that's possible, I don't have much experience with being a secretary. But, I'm really friendly with people, and I can adapt to just about anything! I might be late once or twice, but I can't help that, I was born with it in my genes. I might make mistakes once or twice, but after that, no more! And I might talk a lot too…which is what I'm doing now…but, really, I'll learn." Dr. Heero wore an amused smile on his face. Listening to this young lady talk reminded him of his wife.   
"Well, then, I suppose, we could give it a try."  
"REALLY!!"  
"Hai! Besides, you remind me so much of my wife that I couldn't possibly refuse. Your hired, when can you start?"  
"Um…now, if you want. Or tomorrow, or as soon as possible." Dr. Heero couldn't help but laugh.  
"Well, I suppose the sooner the better. Come on, I'll give you a tour and show you everything. This way, I won't have to ruin Rena's summer."  
  
~~~  
  
"WHERE IN THE WORLD WERE YOU!!" Serena felt herself land against the wall, Alec's grip pressing her against it hard. She closed her eyes with the pain.  
"Alec, please, you're hurting me." He paid no heed to her words.  
"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT TIME IT IS? DO YOU?!" He screamed at her, his grip on her shoulders getting tighter, his push getting even more stronger.  
"Alec, you're hurting me," she repeated once more, pain so visible in her voice.  
"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT TIME IT IS?!" he repeated, ignoring her once more.  
"I'm sorry…but I found a..." she winced at his fingers digging into her shoulder blades, the words getting cut off.  
"FOUND A F****** WHAT?!"  
"Oww, Alec…please…let me go…it…hurts." She whispered again, trying hard not to scream so that she wouldn't alarm anybody. Alec only stared at her, flames of anger replacing his wise eyes.  
"FOUND A WHAT?!"  
"A…j…o…b…" she finally managed to say. His grips loosened on her and he let her go completely, taken back by her answers. Suddenly regretting what he had just done.  
"Serena, oh my God, gomen, I'm so sorry," he ran to her crumbled form on the walls, her arms rubbing her shoulders.  
"I'm so sorry." He gathered her up in her arms and carried her in his arms. Holding her closely to him, with affection and perhaps love. "I'm so sorry, Serena, I didn't mean to get…I'm sorry." Serena's closed eyes filled with tears.   
"It's okay," she said, her voice breaking. "It's okay." She wrapped her arms around him, still deeply feeling the pain he had inflicted on her shoulder blades. But, she didn't want to see him like that; it made her love him even more.  
"I'm so sorry." he walked in the bedroom and laid her down on her bed. Kneeling beside her, he took her hands and began softly kissing them. To Serena, she could see the sparkling reflection of the light in his eyes. Was he crying?  
"I want to be left alone," she told him, turning away. He kissed her hands once more, then did as she said, leaving her in the room, closing the doors behind her, and the lights.  
Serena let her tears fall free. She sobbed, with all her pain.  
"God, dear God, it hurts," she said to herself, feeling the pain more in her hurt, than where his fingers dug into her skin. She cried and cried, not stopping until she had no more tears to cry.   
She got out of bed and wiped her face and went to find her husband.  
  
~~  
  
sorry this is so short....longer chapter 3 though. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chances To Be Given  
Chapter 3  
  
Disclaimer: You know what I'm going to say. Sailor Moon is not mine. *YES! IT IS, HAHAHA* Jus joking. No it isn't. The characters belong to their wonderful and smart owners!!   
Enjoy!   
  
Chances To Be Given  
Chapter 3  
  
8:30 AM: Serena's Dream, Serena's Past  
  
"What's going on here?" I said, trying to look inside the door behind Amy.   
"Serena…" Amy began to say…pushing me away from the door. "Look, nothing's going on…um…I'm kind of busy right now…want to come back later?"  
"What?! You want me to go away? What are you doing in there? And who's in there with you?" I pushed my way past her and ran inside her apartment before she could grab hold of me.   
"Serena!" I heard her protest behind me.  
"Oh my God!" My hear felt like a drowning girl, helpless from the truth that if no one came to save her, she would die. It was hard to breathe, and it was as if, I was there to watch my heart crack into pieces as I caught sight of MY Darien…kissing Raye once more before…before what? Before I was allowed inside?  
"Serena…it's not what you think." Darien began, dropping Raye on the ground and running towards me.  
"Stay away from me! All of you!!" I turned to Amy before I started to stalk away. "And you, Amy, why?"  
"Serena, listen to Darien, it's not what you think…" Amy began, her face full of distress.  
"And what am I thinking?" I interrupted her.  
"Darien is not in love with Raye."  
"Of course not, Meatball Head, so before your imagination runs off, why don't you just listen to us?" Raye chipped in, brushing herself off and walking towards me. She had this calm look on her face but still panic in her eyes.  
"And what exactly was going on, Raye? What?! Was I imagining that you were kissing MY Darien? That you two were passionately holding each other? That you're lips were passionately…" Tears started rolling down my cheeks. "What, Raye, were my eyes deceiving me again?"  
"Serena…" Darien's arm extended towards me…but I left them, before I heard what I didn't want to hear…that Darien had finally given in to Raye.  
"Serena! Come back here!"  
The scenery changed, I found myself in the bus stop sitting beside Mina.  
"Serena, here you are. What's going on? Amy called me and said you had run off. What's wrong?" Mina wrapped her strong arms around me, squeezing my shoulders and brushing my hair. I leaned against her for support and comfort. I felt so lifeless and tired.  
"Did you know too, Mina?" I asked her.  
"Know what?"  
"About…Darien and Raye?"  
"Well, of...course I did, Serena, it's hard not to when you had something to do with it." And for the second time, my heart exploded into pieces. I jumped away from her and looked at her as if the touch of her skin burnt mine.  
"What? You too, Mina, you too?"  
"Serena…what's going on here? Serena!! Come back here!!"   
Again the scenery changed, this time I found myself in the park, sitting under a tree for protection from the rain. I was cold. I was crying. I was alone, lonelier that I had ever felt before. My friends had abandoned me, my boyfriend kissed another girl and they all knew about it but me.  
"Hey, Meatball Head, what are you doing outside in this weather?"  
"Lita?"  
"Of course, what, have you forgotten me all ready?"  
"No…Oh, Lita, why has everyone gone against me? Why didn't anyone tell me that Darien didn't love me anymore?"  
"What are you talking about? Of course, Darien still loves you! Where did you get that idea?"  
"I saw them, Lita…Darien and Raye…kissing…hugging…"  
"Oh, that…"  
"That?" Lita sat beside me, her hands in her jacket pockets.  
"Look, Serena…Darien will explain everything to you ok?"  
"Explain what?! That he doesn't love me anymore…that…*sob*"  
"No…Serena, listen…Darien will always love you, and if you just listen to their reasons, you'll see how stupid you're being."  
"Stupid?!! I'm not stupid! Nor am I such a klutz that I spoil everything for everyone!" I jumped up in anger and began running again. And once more, I found myself in a different place. Except darkness cannot be counted as a place.   
  
(Serena's POV)  
9:05 AM  
  
I woke up at the sound of a bird singing softly outside the bedroom window. A bird…I opened my eyes a crack to see if Alec was still here, but he wasn't. My eyes darted up to look upon the bird. A robin…a beautiful robin was perched on a little branch sticking close to the window.  
"What are you doing here, Mr. Robin?" I croaked. My voice breaking and sounding so…used up.  
As if to answer, he began to sing again and I smiled.  
"That's true…why shouldn't you be here?" I sat up slowly, my movements almost automatic. And then I felt it, the pain in my arms and in my shoulders. I lifted my sleeve up to see if there were any bruises. And I was right. Alec's hands was like printed on my skin…the bruises formed a resemblance to his to fingers, his palm…his hands.   
"Oh God." The previous night played again over in my head.  
  
The previous night:  
  
"Alec…" After I had cried in the bedroom, I had decided to look for my husband. I found him outside on the balcony smoking a cigarette, his face red and his eyes swollen from crying. I slid open the balcony doors and stepped outside hugging myself tightly at the cold I felt.  
"Smoking is bad for you, you know that?" I think I startled him. His hands shook and his cigarettes fell from his fingers, descending down pass the other balconies below us.  
"Serena, I…" He began, turning towards me.  
"Shh…" I didn't want to hear another apology from him so instead I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest. He stroked my hair and hugged me back, strange really.   
"It's cold out here, you want to go back inside?" He asked me.  
"No, I like the air, it's refreshing."  
"Serena, listen…"  
"Please don't, Alec. I don't want any explanations. You were worried, it was my fault, I should've left a note or called to tell you where I was." I expected him to retort, but instead I only felt him nod. I flinched.  
"We really better go back inside, you should sleep, so should I. We both got work tomorrow, right?"  
"Right, you start earlier though."  
"What time will you be home tomorrow?"  
"I don't know yet, it really depends on how many appointments Dr. Heero has."  
"Dr. Heero?"  
"I'm going to be his new assistant. His assistant quit or something and he didn't want to bother his daughter anymore so…"  
"Right, come on then." I didn't protest when he led me back inside, still holding onto me and me onto him. He laid me down on my bed and tucked me in. Then kissed me on the forehead and said good night. He undressed and changed, then turned out the lights.  
"Good night," I said after.  
  
"Work?! Oh darn it, I'm going to be late!!!" I remembered as I glimpsed at the time.  
  
(Third person POV)  
  
The day passed by quickly as appointments after appointments came for Dr. Heero. Serena was busy on her first day…well second. Dr. Heero was too, but both of them had managed.  
"Well, that was progress. I thought we would be here until late, but I guess not. Only 9 and we're all done for today, is that right?" Dr. Heero said to Serena as he came out of his office and directed their last patients out of the doors.  
"Yes, sir, that's right."  
"Sir? You know, Serena, Derek is fine."  
"Right, sorry."  
"No apologies needed." He gave a small chuckle and took off his hospital coat. "You getting a ride home tonight?"  
"Um, no…I think I'll just catch the bus again."  
"Nonsense, how about I give you a ride? It's what a gentleman should do."  
"I think I would rather not intrude. Besides, it is a beautiful night…I want to go for a little walk right after that bus ride." Dr. Heero looked at his new assistant with respect. He had only just hired her and all ready, he couldn't help but treat her like one of his daughters.  
"Well, I suppose that's all right for tonight. Go on, then, I'll lock up here."  
"Arigatoo, good night." Serena gave a bow and in return so did he. Then she left and began her walk towards the bus stop.   
  
The streets were empty and quiet. The neighborhood was a nice one, with plenty of trees and plenty of star-filled sky. She took a seat on the bench and sighed. She tilted her head back and stared up at the sky.   
"Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have my wish come true tonight." Her eyes focused on the first star she had seen. "I wish, with all my heart, to find my way back to happiness," She whispered.  
"A beautiful but sad wish."   
"Huh?" Serena jerked her head down, suddenly realizing that she was not alone anymore. She looked at the person beside her, wishing the shadows did not hide the newcomer's face.  
"How have you been, Serena? You really don't sound so happy." And suddenly it hit her. That voice was familiar and the person sitting beside her, with short hair and a melodic voice was one of her past friends.  
"Amy…what are you doing here?" She asked, shocked, happy but sad at the same time.  
"I live around here, Serena, or have you forgotten that? I was out for a walk and then…I saw you, sitting here all alone and wishing for…happiness. I didn't mean to scare you. I just…had to talk to you." Amy's head bowed down, her eyes still fixed at the figure sitting beside her. At the same time, Serena's eyes fell from her friend's shadows and down to her hands, which were folded around each other.  
"Why did you run away when we saw you at the Arcade, Serena?" Amy then asked, after such a long silence. A car passed by and her face was finally revealed, but only to be hidden again in the dark.  
"I don't know, Amy. I just…didn't want to be right there and then. I didn't want to talk to anybody, you know. A lot of things have been happening and facing you guys, I couldn't do it yet." Amy understood, but she almost cried as she stared at the petite form of her friend. Her face sunken in, her lips quivering with fear, her eyes full of uncertainty and sadness. She didn't see a confident and smiling Serena, the Serena she had grown up with and shared so many secrets with.  
"We've missed you, Serena, all of us." There were again a few moments of silence, the two of them just sitting there and looking ahead of them. Neither one knew what to say next and neither one of them wanted to interrupt the peaceful silence.  
"Why, Amy?" Serena's whisper broke in the air. Amy could hardly hear what her friend had said, but she did as the wind blew it her way.  
"Why?" Amy's face crinkled as she frowned, trying to understand what her friend meant by what she said.  
"Why did everyone leave me?" It took only a second for Amy to understand what Serena was talking about. But she took a minute to answer, another car passing by and revealing her thoughtful face once again.  
"We never left you, Serena, we were always there. We just didn't know what to say to you. You wouldn't let us explain, you'd always push us away."  
"Me? I did?"  
"You wouldn't listen to reason…you wouldn't listen to the truth."  
"Because I knew the truth, I knew the whole of it." Amy lowered her voice to a whisper, but still strong enough for Serena to hear. She didn't want to hurt Serena even more, but she didn't want to lie either.  
"That's just it, Serena, you didn't know any of it." Serena was stunned, yet somehow felt a truth from it. Her vision started to blur as tears started to form at the rim of her eyes. Another car passed by.  
"All I wanted was to be happy, Amy, to understand what I saw. All I wanted was reassurance that…that I wasn't alone, but, all of you…you left me." Serena almost breathed the last three words, Amy almost missing what she said.   
Another car passed by.  
"We never did, Serena. We were there, waiting for you to come to us, we were always waiting."  
"But why, why did you wait?"  
"We thought…it would be for the best for you to calm down a little, we thought it was the right thing to do, but it wasn't was it? We shouldn't have waited…"  
"No…"   
And another car passed by.  
"I'm so sorry, Serena, I never meant…we never meant to hurt you at all. That was the last thing any of us wanted to do. You have to believe me." Amy inched closer to her friend and let her arms pull her friend towards her. She held onto her, wanting only forgiveness, because ever since they had heard what was going to happen, Amy felt the guiltiest of all. Because she allowed them to do it, she allowed Serena to see what she shouldn't have seen.  
"Will you tell me why, why I saw what I did?"   
"It was an experiment," Amy replied.  
"Experiment?" Serena pulled back a little, seeming like a child looking at her mother for some explanation.  
"Yes, it was for the play."  
"Play?"  
"Yes, the Beauty and the Beast play Darien and Raye were in. We didn't tell you about it, because Darien didn't really want to tell you that he would be the prince and kissing another girl, and that that girl was Raye. He didn't want you to feel jealous or…he didn't…I don't know what he didn't or did want but…he just made us promise not to tell you, he said he would."  
"Oh," Minutes passed again with silence.  
Another car passed by.   
"That's stupid, I'm miserable now because…I mean…" Serena tried to hide the fact that she had just said she was miserable. But she knew Amy would not fall for it.  
"Miserable, Serena? Why?" Amy asked.  
"Oh Amy…If I told you, you'd worry, you'd be as unhappy as me and that would be last thing I would want to do, to burden other people of my problems. Look at me, crying like I was a teenager again." Serena wiped away her tears and pulled back from her friend's embrace. "I hate crying, you know. I hated it then, and I hate it even more now."  
"But crying helps, Serena. When no one is there to listen, you're tears will be there as a substitute. They lessen the feeling of loneliness…they make you realize what it is you want and what it is you have to do to make things right again so that you will never have to cry again."  
"Hmm, just like you to say something like that. You haven't changed at all."  
"But I have, Serena. Everyone has, ever since you left our world." The bus finally arrived.  
"Serena…I don't know if you'll want to…but, would you talk to the others again? Will you meet them at the Arcade again?" Serena did not turn to look at her friend as she gave her answer.  
"I can only do so much right now, Amy. And I can only face so many memories."  
"I understand."  
"I'm glad one of us does,"   
Serena took a seat at the back. The bus was quite empty and only another 2 passengers were on it. A couple that leaned against each other and soothed each other's fears. She envied them. She wished them happiness.  
'Why did I have to be so stubborn? Why did I have to be so stupid! I deserved it! Everything that happened to me, I deserved it. Every pain I felt, every tear I shed, and cry I let out, I deserved it. If I hadn't been so stupid! If only I had heard what they were trying to say, everything would be so different. I wouldn't be on this stupid bus, dying because I made a stupid mistake of being deaf!! Dear God, why did you let me be so…so…STUBBORN!!'  
  
9:30 PM: Apartment  
  
She turned the key slowly, making sure that if Alec were sleeping that she would not distract him. But she frowned when she found the place dark and unchanged from the way she had left it this morning. She saw neither Alec's shoes nor his socks. She saw the dinner in the fridge untouched. And she saw nobody lying on the bed besides hers.  
"Well, I guess he must be working late." She told herself, taking a shower and changing her clothes. She glimpsed at the microwave telling her the time. Only 10:30, he would surely be home soon. She wrapped a blanket around her and stepped outside on the balcony. The suite beside hers was dark, but another window beside the balcony was lit. She sat down and looked across at the balcony, a sense of familiarity growing in her stomach. The two balconies were almost touching. Behind her, past their bedroom window, another balcony stood, loud music coming from it once more. She shook her head and looked again at the balcony besides hers.  
"I wonder who lives there." The lights suddenly turned on as she heard the doorbell ring.  
"COMING! Hold your horses," A man's voice exclaimed. Another familiar feeling washed over the other one.  
"Hey, what are you guys doing here?"  
"We've got news, right A (loud blaring of music)" Who? Oh, damn music!!  
"What news?"  
"About (loud electric guitar playing blurs out the words)"   
"Oh come on, how is a girl suppose to eavesdrop if she can't even hear a thing!" she whispered to herself, occasionally shooting a bad look behind her.  
"What did she say to you?"  
"She's unhappy (solo drumming)"  
"This isn't any of my business anymore, she's married for God's sake."  
"Not because she wanted to be, you fool!" Serena heard.  
"There's at least 4 other girls in there with him. Sisters? Cousins? Friends? Girlfriends?" the last suggestion made her laugh. "As if all his girlfriends would visit him at the same time."  
"You're mad at her!! It's not her fault she didn't know about what was going on! It wasn't her fault that her heart was broken when it shouldn't have been. Why…I ought to kill you for saying you don't care Da (words of foul language)"  
"Turn that damn music down!!" She screamed, and then covering her mouth, hoping no one on the other side had heard her.  
"What was that?" The man said.  
"What? Oh, don't you change the subject! You can't just abandon her again."  
"Again? I never abandoned her at all! She wouldn't trust me! She abandoned me! She married that fool of a boy who call himself a man!"  
"And she, was forced to do it! You understand! So don't go blaming everything on her!"  
"Stop it, all of you! I want to be left alone, I don't know why you even bother to tell me news about her."  
"Because we know the truth, Chi (TOOT!!)"  
"What truth?"  
"That you love her, and you always have and you always will!" (Loud swearing words being sang)  
"Damn it!! That's it, I'm going over there and telling them to turn the damn music down!" Serena screamed, very annoyed that she didn't catch any names at all! Was it a coincidence or what? (Of course it is)  
  
(Darien's POV)  
  
"Because we know the truth, Chiba!"  
"What truth?"  
"That you love her, and you always have and you always will!"  
I didn't deny their truth; I didn't ignore it either, because it was the truth. My heart ached for her so badly, and when they told me that she was unhappy, my heart only wanted to find her and make her smile again.  
"You know we're right, Darien, so why are you doing this to yourself?" Lita proclaimed, her anger lessening at the sight of my downcast eyes.  
"I have a huge exam tomorrow, I'd appreciate it if you girls leave,"  
"What?! You selfish fool! You call yourself a man?!"   
"Lita…we told him what we thought he'd like to hear. We should go, we're not wanted anymore." Raye grabbed Lita's arms and pulled her with them outside the door. I followed them and held the door open until I saw them get on the elevator. The door beside mine opened, but I didn't really want to meet the new tenants right now, I was in the most depressing mood.  
  
(Serena, third person POV)  
  
She opened the door, blanket still wrapped around her and walked steadily towards the loud music. She pressed the buzzer, one right after the other, uncaring if she was disturbing somebody. An old man of 60 opened the door and greeted her with a frown on his face. Serena didn't know what to do. She had expected a young man to be listening to that kind of music but…an old man? It made her shiver.  
"YES?" He said, his hands going to his jacket pocket.  
"Hi, we live next door. And, well, I'm just trying to get some rest you see and…well, I would really appreciate it if you…well…you know, it's a beautiful night to enjoy the peace…and well…I was wondering if you could turn down the music, just a tiny bit?"  
"Is it loud again? JOSHUA, TURN DOWN THAT RACKET!!" Joshua? Serena mouthed. Instantly the music was only a little loud.  
"Thank you,"  
"Sorry if our grandson was bothering you, he often does that. And well, it's hard for us to tell, we're half deaf you see."  
"That's all right, doomo arigatoo." Serena nodded her head, and then said good night, waving a little then stepping back inside the apartment building. She glimpsed again at the time. 11:30. Where are you, Alec?  
"Stop waiting around, Serena. You have work tomorrow, if he gets mad at you for not waiting up for him, then it's his problem…or not…but you're tired, go to sleep." She was unsure if she should…should she? Would he…but no, he wouldn't. She'd take the risk and sleep.  
  
2 AM: Apartment still. :O)  
  
In the middle of the night she heard rustling outside the door. She froze and hoped that it wasn't a burglar or anything like that. She opened her eyes in the darkness and saw a form hanging over her. Instantly she closed her eyes, wishing it would go away.  
"It's only me, Serena," Serena was relieved, but she did not make a move to tell him she was actually awake, because she knew that he was only taking a guess. After a few minutes, she opened her eyes and saw Alec's sleeping form. She looked at the alarm clock by his bed. It was 2 A.M.   
'You couldn't have been working that long, Alec…where were you?' She wouldn't bother him about it tomorrow. She didn't really want to know, because not knowing the truth was so much better…for her anyway. But she fell back to sleep.  
  
(Darien's POV again)  
  
"You can't deny it, Darien Chiba. You're still in love with that girl, and you always will be? Why were you so scared that she would be mad at you for playing a damn prince! The play didn't even turn out good! Why didn't you trust her to understand?? Why did you let Raye practice that kiss with you?!! Why…?" I lay in bed, the picture of Serena clearly painted in my closed eyelids. It was no use trying to pretend that I didn't miss her. It was no use trying to pretend that it was my entire fault.  
"Too late now, Chiba. You ruined your chance, get over it." I glanced at the small alarm clock on my bedside table. 3 o'clock in the morning. I couldn't sleep. I was wide-awake.  
"Give me another chance, Serena, would you? I don't care if you're married, I just want to be with you!"  
  
  
  
--end chapter 3--  
  
that's it for now for ch. 3. stay tuned for 4 next wk!! or something like that.   
lil_poetic_gal@hotmail.com  



	4. Chapter 4

Chances To Be Given  
Chapter 4  
Rated: pg13, some swear words in here and a little, only a tinsy bit of blood. nothing serious.  
  
Okay, well, this is going to be a short chapter. I'm in a depressing mood, my friends and I had just had a depressing conversation and everything is so depressing!! my teacher is confusing the hell out of me and will probably fail me!! Anyway, that's one reason the chapter is so short and so fast paced.  
  
Enjoy this really short chapter!  
ps: I'm listening to this song, it doesn't really go with the story though. I just thought'd I'd put it in though:) if you've never heard of it, that's ok.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters, plus the song belong to their rightful owners. not mind, clearly everyone knows that all ready but u know.  
  
(Serena's POV)  
  
He didn't go to work today. I woke up and saw him staring out the window. I stared at him for quite a while and memorized his thoughtful face. I didn't realize he had seen me awake and was startled when he swung around and stared straight at me and said, "I'm sorry."   
I knew what he was sorry for, I didn't know why though. I didn't want to know. I scooted out of bed, tendrils of hair blocking my face.  
"For what?" I asked him innocently, getting up and finding my brush.  
"For getting home so late," His voice was quiet and low, it was hard to hear him but I did.  
  
"I realize the way your eyes deceive me  
With tender looks, that I must look for in love.  
So take away the flowers that you gave me,  
And send the kind that you remind me of.  
  
"You're boss kept you late again?" I saw it then, his guilt, his anger, his shame and his fear. They were all right there, out in the open. He never even bothered to hide it.  
"No, I can't say that," he turned away from me, as if looking at me, at my form, my shadow…anything that had to do with me would make him crazy.  
"So, tell me, why were you so late?" He didn't answer. I was angry, yet at the same time relieved. "Shouldn't you be at work?"  
"Yes, but I called in sick." His depression made me feel stronger, braver, somehow.  
"But you're not sick,"  
"I know that! Don't you think I know that!" the sudden burst of his ranting didn't surprise me at all. Even though Alec was a strong human being, he was still human. His conscious still ruled over him. "What do you want from me, Serena?" he quietly asked.   
"What do you want from me?" I asked him. That question that had always been there, waiting to be asked, yearning TO BE asked.  
"Everything…" I thought I heard him wrong. How could he need everything from me? When I couldn't even give myself anything? "I want your love, understanding, your smile, your soul, your heart. Everything! I want you all for me!"   
EVERYTHING? I mouthed. How could I possibly give him anything at all? His answer had thrown me off balance.  
"I can't give you everything, Alec, just like you can't give me everything." I heard his footsteps, and then his arms came around my shoulders.  
"Oh, but I can. I'm willing to, Serena, just as long as you give in return."   
I was lost, confused. What was wrong with him? Why did he suddenly seem like he needed me to live?  
  
  
Paper roses, paper roses  
Oh how real those roses seem, to me.  
But they're only, imitations  
Like your imitation love, for me.  
  
"I don't understand," was all I could say in return. In truth, all I could manage to get out. My throat felt like it was burning and my eyes filled with unknown tears.  
"Oh, Serena, how could you not! Why are you acting so stupid! You know what I'm talking about!!" He flung me around so that his face was close to mine, his breath burning my face.  
"I don't know, Alec…I don't know how to give you everything." Silence followed, I found my eyes were glued to the floor. I knew that his eyes were on my face, trying to get my eyes to look at him. But I was scared.   
"No, you just don't want to try. If you hated me, Serena, why did you make me love you?" I was speechless…guilty, scared and motionless for a long time. Until finally, he moved away, his gaze once gain directed outside the window.  
"I don't…I don't hate you, Alec."   
"Don't, Serena. Don't you dare you lie to me! I'm so tired of it!! I deserve more than you! I deserve to have a better life than you give me! God, I regret the day I ever vowed my soul to you!!" I didn't think his words would hurt at all. But it did, it really did.  
"Then why did you?" I asked through gritted teeth.   
"Because, Serena, I thought I was saving you from a life of hell."  
"A life of hell, Alec! Do you know how happy I was! I was so happy, that if I had died then and there, it wouldn't have mattered at all!"   
"DON'T YOU DARE LIE!! So "happy that you could die." All you could do was cry, for God's sake! Like a baby! Like a stupid ass baby!"   
"Shut up! Shut up!" It happened so quickly. I didn't mean to yell. His hands suddenly came out of nowhere, and in a flash had found themselves on my face, over and over and over again. I crumbled to the ground, protecting my face with my arms. It didn't help. He grabbed me by the hair and yanked me back up.   
"Ah!" He clamped his other hand over my mouth.  
"Don't you ever tell me to shut-up! Remember what happened last time, Serena…you don't want me to…" Instantly I shook my head. My tears were flowing freely of their own accord and my body shaking non-stop.   
"I thought so," I thought it was over there, that he would let go. Instead, I was suddenly flying in the air, only to have my head smash against the mirror above the dresser. His hand was still clamped over my mouth, my scream muffled and my whimpers silenced. I could only cry harder.   
"Oh, Serena…I could've given you everything, I still could. All you have to do is be my girl. All I want is for you to be happy with me. I want your smile to brighten up my days like it used to. I want to touch you everywhere without you cringing against the wall. I want your heart to be fully mine. That's all I want, Serena. All I ever wanted." I couldn't see his face. But I could hear the hunger in his voice. I could feel the lunacy in his mind. Why, why me? That was the only question I wanted answered.  
  
  
I thought that you would be a perfect lover,  
you seem so full of sweetness at the start.  
But like a big red rose that's made of paper,  
There isn't any sweetness in your heart.  
  
  
(Third Person POV)  
  
Blood trickled down the soft surface of the mirror, hair stuck to the surface, the tears making it sticky.  
"All I ever wanted," Alec repeated again. He looked at the woman his hands held against the mirror. He looked at her hair, her tear-stricken face, and still, he smiled. He let go, dropping her limp body on top of the small drawer. Her hands trying to catch something to grab on as she began sliding off the front. When she could find no holdings, she landed hard on the ground, her limp and sleeping legs unable to support her.  
Serena finally let out a sob. Her hands flew up to the right side of her face, where a cut had been made.  
She expected to hear an apology from Alec like all the other times this had happened. But this time, she heard none.   
"Take off your clothes," Her eyes fluttered up to the man towering over her fragile form.  
"Nani…?" she croaked.   
"I said, take off your clothes." It suddenly registered to her brain what he intended to do now. And even more than ever, she was scared.  
"Oh God, no, Alec please…"   
  
Paper roses, paper roses  
Oh how real those roses seem, to me.  
But they're only, imitations  
Like your imitation love, for me.  
  
"Do it!!?" Serena cowered away from his harsh voice.  
'God, he isn't going to do this…not again…please,'  
"Alec, listen to yourself. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being stupid. I'm sorry for being…for everything. Please, don't…" She begged him, her eyes showing fear. He only smiled again.  
"I'm your husband, you'd think you'd listen for once! You'd think you'd enjoy what I'm about to give you." He grabbed her arm and pulled her up, bringing her lips to land on his and forcefully and painfully kissed her. Serena did not kiss in return, instead, all she wanted to do was get out of there as fast as she could. Her mind raced here and there, trying to figure out the best way to make him listen. She ignored her cries of "RUN!" in her mind. Until she knew it was hopeless, that there was nothing else to do.  
  
Paper roses, paper roses  
Oh how real those roses seem, to me.  
But they're only, imitations  
Like your imitation love, for me."  
  
  
"Alec no!" Willfully, forcefully, she pushed him back as hard as she could so that he feel backwards, losing his balance. For a second she stared at him and he stared back. Then, she flung the door open and started to run. She didn't get anywhere as a hand wrapped around her ankle.   
"Get off me you bastard!! Get off me!!" she kicked and kicked and kicked, when finally he lost his grip and she was free. Again…she started to run.  
"You come back here, bitch!!" She did not turn to look back, to see if he had followed her. She just kept on running, until she reached the elevators. Until the elevator door shut and she was alone. She cried there, her body curled in a ball at the corner. Her face still bleeding as the cut deepened. Her body weakening as fear fully seeped in. Her soul crying out to die as she felt loneliness wrapped its arms around her.  
"God, why me?"   
"Main Floor," the elevator announced. Serena did not get up to leave. She was so tired…she was so weak…she was losing a lot of blood, from one deep cut. She was falling fast.   
The elevator door opened, revealing the main floor, empty except for one person.  
"Sheesh…you'd think those girls would just give up all ready. Why me…Serena?"   
Darien stopped dead in his tracks. "No…it couldn't be…" It took him a quick step to get to her and gather her in his arms. Her head rested back on his shoulders, and his worst fear was revealed.  
"Serena…Oh God, what happened?" He quickly pressed his floor and closed the elevator doors. He lifted her up and supported her every way he could, until finally they were there.  
He fumbled for his keys in his pockets, Serena still in his arms. Finally, he found them, and without so much as a problem (miracle isn't it?) he opened the doors and shut it behind him. He ran to his couch and gently laid her down, careful not to hurt her anymore.   
"Oh God, Serena, you better not be dead!" He whispered to himself. He placed his hand over her nose and felt it, the gush of air coming in and out. He sighed, relieved. Instantaneously, he grabbed a clean cloth, boiled some water and began tending to her cut on her face. He cringed at the sight of her blood flowing easily from the open wound. He saw something glint as he turned on the lights. Carefully, he took out a piece of mirror.  
"That bastard…God, Serena…" His hands curled into a fist. And for the first time since Serena left, he cried. In an hour, he had stitched her cut close, remembering all his training and getting all the proper materials. And then he waited. He waited. And he waited. Until, finally, sleep took over him.  
  
  
----  
  
comments? none: well, that's k. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chances To Be Given  
Chapter 5  
Rated: PG13 or something like that.  
  
  
Darien woke up with a sudden start. He groaned and shook his head as he heard a loud "Thump" coming from the halls. He ignored it, assuming that it was probably one of the young man or lady that lived down the hall coming in from a party. Instead, he paid attention to the hand he held in his and the lying form of a familiar being. He looked up at her face and studied it. How long had it been since he saw her? How long had been since he heard her voice? Her laugh? Seen her smile? How long?  
"A long time," he answered. Except maybe the brief encounter they had had at the Arcade. "Oh, Serena…I missed you," he whispered softly. He saw a frown form on her forehead. He saw her lips curl up. He was afraid that even in her dreams, that bastard of a husband of hers was still torturing her.   
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!! I KNOW YOU'RE OUT HERE!!"   
Darien frowned. He looked at the VCR under his television and saw the time.  
'Who in the hell would be screaming their lungs out at 2 in the morning?'  
He got up after pulling the covers higher over Serena. He walked over to his door and opened it slowly.  
"HEY! Some of us are trying to sleep!?" He said with an edge.  
"Go to hell!" His frown deepened, but not because the man had told him to go to hell, but because he knew this man. He knew him…but from where?  
"Look buddy, whatever your problem is, I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow." Darien knew it probably couldn't, be he hadn't expected the man to break down and cry! Which was what the man did. He collapsed against the wall and held his head in between his hands, crying like it was the end of the world.   
'What in the world?' Darien was confused…what had just happened here? He didn't know, but feeling a tad bit bad, he sighed and walked out of his apartment, making sure to quietly close the door behind him. He slid down beside the man who was obviously pained about something. Tears ran down his face. His hair was disheveled all over his head. Bloodstains were on his lips and a sob came out of him every minute.  
"Hey, look, is there anything I could do for you?" Darien asked his heart going out to this stranger, obviously heart broken.  
"She left me! After all I did for her! After all I gave her! She left me!" The man's voice was angry but still very sad at the same time.   
"I know how that feels like," dark eyes darted up to finally look properly at this stranger who had come to give him a shoulder to cry on.  
"You do?"  
"Yes. The girl…no, the woman of my life, my soul mate. I know that's who she was. She left me a long time ago, maybe it wasn't entirely her fault, and in fact it was probably mine. I was so stupid and she married another man. I still love her…no matter what, but it pained me to see her go, to see her kiss that…that bastard!" Darien said it quietly. He had no idea why he was sharing this to this…this familiar stranger…?  
"Well, I hope my wife dies! She deserves it." Darien raised his eyebrows. He was utterly in disbelief. One minute ago this man was crying his heart out, wanting his wife back and then…now he wants her dead?  
"If you love her, you wouldn't say that." Darien knew to say and once again the man broke down crying.  
"If she loved me, she wouldn't have made me…made me like this."  
"Look, maybe she'll come back," He became uncomfortable. The woman must've had good reason to leave, just like Serena had a good reason to leave him.  
"Never, I really done it this time…I know it…but I didn't mean it, I really didn't."  
"What…?" Darien was confused. The strange man looked at his hands. He was in a trance, talking to himself…  
"I didn't mean to hurt her. I only wanted her to…to show her love for me. I only wanted her to make me happy. I didn't mean to…to hurt her." Darien looked at the man in disbelief. He knew these things happened, but he never knew anyone who had…well, he hadn't…until Serena.   
"Hurt her…?" he asked. That familiar feeling still clung at the back of his mind.   
"All I ever wanted was…everything she could give me."  
"What…what do you mean hurt her?" Darien still wondered…thinking…wondering…  
"Why couldn't she understand?"  
"Who are you?" The man shook out of his ranting and came back to reality.  
"Alec…Alec…" but before he could tell Darien his full name, a fist collided with his face.   
"What the f…" Darien punched, again and again and still again. Anger and hatred replaced that of pity. That of uncontrollable want of revenge replaced his control. But almost at once, although not quick enough, his mind told him to stop. He stared down at the face of Serena's husband.   
"I should kill you for what you did," he said. The man looked at him with horror.   
"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" he kept saying. He had no idea who this person was…but he was scared.  
Darien finally gained full control. He stood up and climbed off Alec and was about to kick him one more time when his mind caught him again.  
"If you don't stay away from her, I swear, next time I see you with her, I'll kill you! Do you understand?!"   
Blood dripped from Alec's nose. His eyes bulged with bruises. His mouth bled with broken teeth. He nodded, taking everything this man said as a serious threat he shouldn't ignore.   
Darien pivoted and took a deep breath. Quietly, he went back inside, locking the door behind him. He felt no fear or regret for what he had just done. He only felt even angrier that he had been feeling badly for the one who had almost…his eyes darted to the couch.   
"Serena?" his mind panicked. "Serena!!" The couch lay empty. The room lay deserted.   
'God, where is she?" he ran inside and was about to panic even more when he saw a shadow move on the wall. He closed his eyes and pushed back the tear trying to escape. He breathed in again and pursued to the balcony.   
  
(Serena's POV)  
  
I didn't know where I was. Opening my eyes I thought I would see God or Satan. I thought I was dead. Instead I found myself staring at a blank ceiling, warm and feeling not much better, but still warm. My hand darted up to my face and instead of feeling blood I only felt stitches. Fear took hold of me for a few moments. My imagination ran wild and I stiffened. What if Alec had come after me and brought me back? No…he couldn't…I turned my head and looked around. I breathed. I wasn't home…er at Alec's. I was somewhere else. The room was like ours…except it was neater and simpler. A red rose was hanging just above the television. I was surprised it didn't look frail at all or…dying. It looked so healthy…but then again maybe it wasn't real.   
I forced myself to sit up. I could hear something outside, but I didn't want to intrude on anything. Quietly I got up. Whoever had helped me was probably sleeping. I wouldn't want to disturb them. I wrapped the blanket around me and stepped outside in the cold, black night.  
"How cruel you are to me, world," I said. "Why?"   
I didn't want to cry again…"No more," I thought…Instead I hugged the blankets closer around me.   
"Serena…?" The sudden intake of breath was painful. My heart throbbed faster. Could it be Alec? No…it couldn't be. I didn't dare turn around to look.   
"You should sleep more, after what you've been through." I realized then that the tears had begun their rampage again.   
"I'm…fine…" I said through broken voice.  
"No you're not," I wasn't thinking right, all I could think about was…that this couldn't be Alec. All I had to do was turn around to find out who this was. But, why was it so hard to achieve?  
"I'm not Alec, Meatball Head."  
"What…?" In a sudden move, I faced him. And relief passed throughout my body…yet still, a different kind of fear replaced that. "Darien…?" He smiled at me and took a step towards me. My feet were glued to the floor.  
  
(Third person)  
  
"Hey," Darien said taking another step.   
"Hi," Serena looked away and stepped back. Darien understood. He brought a chair from the side to her and asked her to sit. Taking another chair he sat across from her just a few steps apart. Both of them stared up at the sky.  
"It's a beautiful night, ne?"  
"Yes, it is." Silence came next. The stars watched them both as they sat there, leaning back, trying to comprehend what each was thinking of. The streets under them were empty and the still night-air left them alone.   
"Thanks," Serena whispered.  
"Any time," She brushed away the tears that hadn't stopped flowing. Then taking another big step, she looked at Darien, who by this time had been staring at her. They're eyes met and talked quietly for a few seconds, trying to understand each emotion that passed in and out of sight.  
"Whom were you talking to?"  
"Huh?"   
"I heard uh…I heard you outside, I think…" Darien's face grew cold and protective.  
"Nobody…it's 2 in the morning, who would I be talking to?"  
"I…I just thought that…" Serena backed off. Her eyes roamed to the other side of Darien, where darkness only occupied the apartment next door. She frowned…and she suddenly knew. Familiarity turned to knowledge, and a few nights back, she knew whom she had heard gossiping.   
"You were talking to Alec?" She waited for his answer but heard none. She only saw him turn away to look straight ahead.  
"Serena…you're not going back to him are you?" She sighed and gazed back up at the stars. For a moment Darien thought that she would not answer, but then he heard her.  
"Why not? He's my husband," She said quietly and unsure.  
"For God's sake! If he was your…" he started to shout at her, but angry as he was, he knew he shouldn't be yelling at her. "If he was your husband, Serena…why would he do this to you?" he said more softly.  
"He was only angry, Darien…I didn't understand him…you know how I am."  
"No, I don't," Serena's face grew cold.  
"I'm annoying, that's what I am," he didn't understand her. He looked at her with disbelief. How could she be defending the man who…who almost…killed her?  
"I don't understand, you can be annoying, Serena…but you don't deserve to die because of it,"  
"I don't want to talk about it!" Serena said with force and fear.  
"No. If we don't talk about it now, we're never going to. And tomorrow, you'll go back to him and accept his stupid apology! God, Serena, why, explain to me why? Make me understand why you would possibly even consider going back to that bastard!" Serena didn't know what to say. Why did Darien show so much concern for her? After all these years?   
"I don't have to explain anything, Darien."  
"You owe me," Serena gazed at him darkly. He knew that she knew that she didn't owe him anything.  
"For what?! I didn't ask you to save me…I didn't ask you to make me feel better. How in the world…"  
"Just tell me, tell me one good reason that you would go back to him?" Serena grew quiet. Knowing Darien's persistence and anger, she knew that there was no use of resisting.  
"He's a great man, Darien, he's my husband. And no matter what he…he does, I vowed to be with him through the worse. You don't know him like I do. I mean, maybe sometimes he scares me. Maybe sometimes he disgusts me. But he is still my husband, and that's reason enough."  
"These days, Serena…vows are never thought to be a permanent thing."  
"Maybe not to them…but to me. He was right…he did save me," she paused there and focused her eyes on her hands before continuing. "I was so alone…and then he comes and takes me away from everything. And for a while we were happy, he made me laugh, he made me forget. For a while he gave me paradise. And I owe him for that."  
"You don't owe him shit,"  
"Stop it! You don't understand…" Tears began to well up in her eyes again. Darien didn't back down.  
"How can I? Here he is, practically bled you to death and you're saying to me that…you're going back to him?"   
'Why, Serena?' Darien could only wonder. Serena kept silent for a few moments. Was she trying to come up with her answer? Darien looked at her with his dark eyes. He studied her again. Where did his confident and happy Meatball Head go? Why did she look so frail, so fragile, so scared? Why didn't she fight back like she always did? Was it his fault?  
"Everyone deserves a second chance," she whispered, disturbing his trail of thoughts. He blinked.  
"Is this what this is, his second chance? How many times has he done this, Serena? How many?" He stared at her and leaned over. Taking her face in his hands, he knew that she would not be able to lie to him this way or hide her eyes when she did. She closed her eyes and a tear fell away.  
"Everyone deserves a chance. You can't waste chances when you have so many to give."  
"You're giving him a chance to make up…but why not give yourself a chance to be happy?"   
"Darien…" she could not go on. His face softened at the sight of her and without another thought, he gathered her around him, bringing her to his lap. He rocked her back and forth, maybe asking for forgiveness for being so…so mean.  
"Why don't you want to be happy?" Serena didn't know. And because of that, she let herself let go. In her tears, she let go of her loneliness of her fear. In her tears, she let go of bad memories and of regrets. In her tears, she let go of everything.  
  
Perhaps an hour or two passed before they moved. Darien's heart was breaking with Serena's, and even though she didn't know that, he didn't want her to. She had already been through a lot that anymore burden would probably make her crazy.  
"Come on, sleep?" She nodded and gave him a weak smile. He saw then, the signs of bruises everywhere on her body. His heart broke even more. He carried her, making sure that he wasn't squeezing her too hard. He brought her to his room and laid her softly down.  
"I'll sleep on the couch,"  
"Don't, Darien. Don't leave me tonight, not right now…onegai?" Serena pleaded, fearing if he left, she would wake up. He nodded and crawled in with her. She pressed close to him and fell quickly to dream.  
Darien cried, for her and for him. He wondered then, how could one small little secret, ruin both of their lives? His regret was proven to be true. If he hadn't been so insecure, if he hadn't been so stupid, if he only trusted her to be an adult about him kissing Raye…if only. He squeezed his eyes shut, letting the tears fall. He caressed her hair, knowing maybe he could do something to help her life get better. He wouldn't let her go back to that bastard, no, he couldn't!  
  
  
--  
  
okay, that's it 4 now. 


	6. Epilogue

Chances To Be Given  
Epilogue  
  
After much consideration, I have decided to end this part of the story here. There will be a sequel. But I've  
got a Geography project due so that's one main reason i cut the story here. Sorry, it's short. It was written only tonight.   
  
Anyway, do not hate for the way this is written. You can dislike me though...but do not hate me (because i'm beautiful...lol, just joking) and if you want to send me some flames...that's all right too. can't hurt me anymore than damn school!! of course, stay in school b/c it'll start you in your success. :P  
  
Enjoy!   
  
Chances To Be Given  
rated: PG (2 swears or something?)  
Epilogue  
  
The sunlight passed through the thin curtain overhanging the window beside the bed. It placed its rays nicely so that it only landed on the two figures that laid sleeping in each other's arms. The man stirred, but clutched the woman tighter to him. Even in his dreams, the sun could see that this man held on lovingly.   
Two sets of eyes opened slowly revealing two light blue sapphire eyes. The sun could only imagine what she was thinking of as she stared innocently at the person beside her.  
'Darien…so I wasn't dreaming, you really did save me.' She snuggled closer. The warmth of his body made her feel safer than she had ever felt before. She laid there quietly, making sure not to disturb him. She watched his stomach go up and down as he breathed. She watched his lips smile once in a while and wondered what he was dreaming. And suddenly, her eyes glinted. Tears outlined her eyes, tears of what?  
Slowly, she unwound his arms around her. They refused to let go, but soon afterwards, she pried them off, quickly replacing it's remnants by a pillow. She looked around her shyly. The room hadn't changed at all after all these years. Still neat, still simple, but still safe.  
Beside the bed stood a table, supporting on it was a picture. She traced the outlines of the picture frame and smiled longingly at the past. There she was, staring back at herself, in the arms of a man she left behind. A man whom had loved her, who had protected her through every harsh reality she had ever been revealed to. They had been happy…but because of her mistakes, she ruined her own life. A tear landed on the glass surface. She tore her eyes away and looked around once again. At last she found what she was looking for. She picked up the pen and turned to a clean page on the notebook.  
  
  
Darien,  
  
  
Thank you for everything. I don't know why you did it again, but you did and you saved my life. I want you to know I'm so grateful that fate let me meet a man like you. I'm sorry I didn't stay…I just have to talk to Alec. And maybe by the time you read this, we have finished talking and I am gone.   
  
I had the most interesting dream Darien. I saw myself looking in the mirror and I saw so many reflections that I didn't know which one actually reflected me. In one reflection I was laughing, in another I was crying. In another, I was crumbling to the ground. There were so many reflections I didn't quite see them all. But there was one that really caught my eye. A reflection of a reflection.   
  
And suddenly I knew…I've been hiding from myself trying not to let the world ruin my life when in truth it was all ready ruined. I ruined it after the third chance I gave away to Alec. I wanted to be happy with him, I wanted him to make me happy, I wanted him to be the one…I wanted so badly to believe that I had to go through so many faces to make it real for me. But you're right, too much is too much. No one deserves so many chances…no one. Not me, not you…and not Alec.   
  
Thank you, Darien. I'm going to start over…I'm going to…I don't know what I'll do…but maybe, you might not see me for a while. But promise not to forget me, okay, Darien? And I promise, I will never forget you, I never have, I never will…you were always there and always will be. And I hope when I do come back…you'll give me another chance as part of your life, even if we're just friends.  
  
Love always,   
Meatball Head Serena  
  
PS: I love you, and tell everyone I'm sorry I screwed up. I wish I could've been more mature, then I wouldn't be writing this note and we would all be happy...at least, I hope it would've turned out that way if it had been different. "If onlys" they only make you regret. Don't think about them.  
  
Love you   
xoxoxo  
Serena  
  
Serena folded up the paper and looked once more at Darien.   
'Be happy, Darien…please.' She placed the paper beside the picture and kissed him on the forehead. Then she turned away and left him quietly.  
  
  
  
~~~  
  
  
"Hi,"  
"Serena? Uh…come in." He stood behind Serena as he closed the door. He hid his face from her, but too late, she had all ready seen it as she came in.  
"What are you doing here? I mean…Serena, you shouldn't be here…I almost…" He cut himself off, flinching at the thought of what he had almost done. He didn't continue but only looked away.  
"Killed me," Serena finished. "I only came to talk it out, but not to get back together. Can I sit?"  
"Yeah…it's still your home, Serena. Would you like some coffee? Something to eat?"  
"Sure…but not now…I can eat later. Sit." He obeyed her without another thought. He knew he owed it to her to understand.  
"I'm sorry for what Darien did…"  
"Darien…is that the guy that…" he paused and took a few seconds to think. "Acutally, I deserved it. Every bruise that I got from that beating…I deserved it." He said quietly admitting the truth. "He got me thinking, Serena…he really did and he made me understand. I'm so sorry, Serena." Serena sighed. All ready this was getting too emotional for her. She placed her eyes on him and pitied him. For once, he looked so fragile, like a child scared of the monster under his bed. She took his hand and held it in hers. She squeezed it softly, a way to tell him it was all right. He was surprised, he looked at her in disbelief finally revealing his beaten up face and his teary eyes.  
"God, Serena…how could you…how could you let me do it? Why did you let me? I know you, you are so much stronger than me…" his voice cracked up every second sentence, it was quiet and thoughtful. His sobs grew intense, as if it was the first time he had ever cried in his life.   
"I don't know, Alec." She said ever so slowly. There were a few minutes of silence. Whatever needed to be said had to be said when they were both ready.  
  
"I screwed, Alec. I shouldn't have just accepted my parents decision. I should've fought for love. The first time I saw you, I was attracted, that's the truth. But there was nothing there, only that, an attraction. But I didn't care…I wanted to believe that I had fallen in love with another man other than…other than Darien. I wanted to believe that he wasn't my everything…that I could be happy without him. I mean I only made his life miserable…I only made him lie and be secretive sometimes. I whined a lot…I cried a lot…I wanted all his attention for myself, I was selfish. And I screwed up because, I didn't listen. I screwed up in so many ways than one that…I guess I thought, everything that was happening was deserveful. I was happy with you, I really was…" he questioned her last statement, he knew it couldn't possibly be true. But he sat there and thought about what she said. And then he opened his mouth to speak. He hesitated, then continued. He tried not to look at her as he spoke. He would only see that line of stitches on her face. It was his work and it wasn't something he was proud of.  
  
"At the beginning maybe, but then…I hurt you. And it was unforgivable but you gave me another chance anyway. I didn't know why, but I loved you even more for that. But I saw your mask. Every time I got near, you would advance back. You'd shut yourself up and…and that made me mad. I wanted you so badly, Serena. I wanted your love so badly. I wanted you to see that you could love me. But I guess I didn't make you see. Instead I only made you hate me. But I craved…you are so very beautiful, Serena, and loving you was the most painful thing in the world. I asked myself so many times, "why doesn't she love me? What is it about me, she doesn't love?". And I detested you for making me question myself. I detested you for making me feel so…dirty…angry…lonely. But I loved you so badly…hate couldn't have erased from my heart." Serena glanced at him. His posture that had been straight and confident a day before, was shrunken to a bowed head and a crooked back. "But it was still unforgivable the way I…I hurt you." Serena looked down at her feet, she looked anywhere but at him. And Alec looked out of the room towards the blue sky.  
  
"I understand now," Serena said. 'All this time'…he was right.   
She turned her head to look at him and only came to face the back of his head. Forcing her hands to move, she touched his shoulder lightly to get his attention. Slowly, he lifted his head to face her. In his eyes, she saw the love he was talking about. She was overwhelmed…but what could she do? She didn't love him and she didn't want to lie to herself anymore. She knew that he didn't see that love in his eyes, not for him anyway.   
"I guess we both screwed up." She stated.  
"I'm so sorry for everything," he whispered, his voice projecting the pain he felt.  
"And so am I." She whispered back. He smiled a meek one then looked away again.   
"I did us both a favor. I went to my lawyer late last night and asked him for divorce papers. All you have to do is sign to get rid of me."   
"I need you to know one thing, Alec…that you taught me something…you thought me that you have to fight for the things you want, to be happy, you can't just give in." He nodded.   
"As much as you hurt me…it's not comparable to the way I hurt myself. I forgive you, Alec, as long as you forgive me, even if you don't, I still forgive you. I wish I could love you…but my heart, it was taken a long time ago." He nodded again.   
"I'll go get the papers." She nodded and watched him advance into the bedroom.   
What could he be going through now, she thought. She looked at the time and saw how early it was. Darien would still be sleeping, hopefully. In a minute, Alec came back. Signing the papers was quick, she only had to follow his directions. It was a silent event, neither one of them felt like talking. Neither one of them had no clue on what to say to make the atmosphere a little more breatheable. Finally it was done.  
"I'll go get my things packed and then I'll go." Serena stated. She wasn't angry with him and neither was he. They were both just trying to figure out what to do next.  
"I understand. Where should I mail a copy of this?"  
"My parents…okay?"  
"Yeah, I better get ready for work."  
"Um…should you go to work? I mean…"   
"Oh, yeah…well, everyone there knows that I have a lot of enemies. I'll just explain. Besides, work will keep me from thinking. I'll get this to my lawyer right away."  
"Okay then."   
She hesitated as she stared at him. She wanted to cry so badly, but she knew she had to be strong and not just for her, but for him too. Finally, she got her feet to move and went to the bedroom and start packing.  
  
  
  
~~  
  
  
Darien opened his eyes with a jolt. Why was Serena so soft and so small? He wondered. He expected to find her in a ball or something but instead only found a pillow. He frowned and doubted for a minute that it had all been a dream.   
"It couldn't have been a dream," he thought. He sat up, holding his head in his hands, trying to shake the fear that had started to awaken in him.  
"Serena?" he began, hoping she was just in the bathroom or somewhere in the apartment.   
"SERENA!!" he screamed louder.   
He silence himself and tried to hear. But he only heard the cars outside, the people chatting away and the kids laughing.   
He didn't hear her, not a trace.  
"Where are you?" he whispered to himself. He squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears from rolling.   
'Men don't cry,' he told himself.  
"Yeah right…how many times have I cried?" he chuckled, sounding like a man gone insane.   
Then he exploded, throwing the pillow across the room and at the door.   
"AGH!" he grunted. He breathed heavily trying to regain control. He looked over his shoulder and at the picture on the table.  
Serena stared at him, lovingly and with a bright smile.  
"Why did you leave me again, Meatball Head? Why?" a white piece of paper caught his eye and with a fast reflex he grabbed it.   
Quickly, he read the few sentences Serena had written to him.  
"Damn you!" He threw himself off the bed and began to dress himself.  
  
  
  
~~  
  
  
"Good-bye, Alec," Serena said as she closed the apartment door beside her. She carried with her, two small bags. She didn't take much, just some few clothes and some pictures and personal belongings. And of course, her purse with her money.   
She had decided that she would go see the Dr. and asked if he could help her out a little bit. She knew that he would help her and that she could trust him. He had once told her that if she ever needed anything, he was there.  
She looked at the next apartment door that was Darien's.   
"Good-bye for now, Darien Chiba," she whispered to herself. And she began to walk away towards the elevator.   
It was a long wait till it finally opened. Her anxiousness had grown by then. What if Darien woke up and found her?   
She pressed the buttons with force, and as the elevator door closed, she saw Darien's apartment door open with a start. She dismissed it, thinking that she had only imagined it.  
  
  
  
~~  
  
  
"Damn her! If she goes back to him, I'll personally kill her!" Darien fumed.   
In his anger and hurry he neglected to see the blonde figure who had just gone down in the elevator.   
He stomped the few steps to Alec's door and knocked loudly.  
"Open this door! Where's Serena!! Alec, you bastard, where is she?!"  
The door flung open and Alec stood there, frightened and surprised at the same time.  
"You…" he said. Darien walked passed him and looked around.   
He would find her, he had to. And that was his goal.   
"Where is she?" he looked at Alec.  
"Who?"  
"Serena!!" the man stepped back and frowned.  
"She just left…a few minutes ago." He stammered.  
"Where? Where did she go?"  
"She didn't say…"  
"You mean…she's not going back to you?"  
"No…she's not." Alec's eyes dropped down to the floor. Darien sighed.  
"Thank God," he breathed more easily now, knowing she wasn't going to be nice to this…this so called man anymore.   
"I should've beaten you to death," he suddenly said.  
"She forgave me and that's all I care about," he stated for his defense.  
"What?! Ugh, I don't know why, but she must have a reason. I got to go find her."   
And without even investigating anymore, he walked out of the apartment to the elevator.  
  
  
~~  
  
  
'Wow, I'm on time for the bus this time,' Serena thought. S  
he looked up at the apartment once again and tried to see which balcony belonged to Darien.   
'Whichever one is yours, Darien, I hope you'll be happy.'   
"All aboard, miss." the bus driver told her, taking her out of her daze.  
"Oh, thank you," she stepped on and trudged down to the back to take a seat.   
'Here I go, no more husband, no more fear, no more "Ms. Nice Girl"'  
  
  
~~  
  
  
Darien ran out of the apartment and looked all around him.   
Where could she be? He wondered.   
He saw nobody.   
The lot was empty and so was the streets.   
And far hidden by a wall, the bus trudged on down the road.  
Darien stumbled down on the ground, he had lost her again, but he would find her.  
'I love you, Serena, and I will never forget you, I promise. I'll be here when you come back…I willl. I'll be waiting.'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
And there it you have it for this part of the story. Sequel or no? tell me, whichever way is fine with me. 


End file.
